is it "I wonder here as I lay"? dunno. um. good ideas all in all. I especially liked,
"I’m basking in your compliments
Getting burnt by your pity"
I like it. too bad it's short.


Here's mine, I have audio with it, but it's crappy so you can listen if you want to. audio
Then go to music on the yellow bar. then pick high or low play. thanks for listening/reading.

Smoke Faeries

Sky is blossoming with fireworks, tonight,
Trailing, bleeding downwards to me,
Sitting alone on the swings,
To another year.
Letting the wind numb me to sleep,

Afterthoughts only exist after tonight.
Think out loud to the people I’ve met,
So good and so many,
Pushing them away, I was so unuse to life then.

Track ten spinning round in me and the December air,
Wet grass and drifting smoke faeries
Giving me late advice in my ear,
Late advice dies at midnight,
When the big hand copies the small,
I’m relying on a brick wall,
To break my fall,
I can only hope for the better,
Instead of useless letters,
When people can tell it’s autumn, already...

Jump in the handwritten piles,
Letters not thrown away or filed,
Just sitting on my desk inking denial...

hey, does anyone ever say that a song/lyric is shite here? its always "oh, thats wkid, thats so awesome cool radical. gay. ishould post a real piece of shit here and see what people say.

lol. u prob wouldnt have a reply coz ppl r too afraid to hurt ya feelings.

thanx Rhia. after looking at the line again i can see that its pretty crap. ill change it. thank you!

and rhia i likie that except for the small wall fall bit.

Loz, just thought i'd say i really love the song 'killer'. It's quality. Means a lot. And it has almost a universal significance.

Really liked Smoke Fairies, probably the first thing I've seen on here that isn't full of cliches. And Chris considering you haven't posted any thoughts on other peoples stuff at all how can you criticise everyone else, now you mention it though your songs were pretty boring.

Oh won't you try the cherry pie,
It's real killer,
There are things here I can't describe,
But I'm still filling myself up on chemicals and dreams
and cherry pie and emily.

ididnt criticize anyone. iwas juste noticing how every comment is so nicey nice makin a little hard to consider the opinions as anything more than pleasing for pleasings sake. thanks for your honest commentary though, champ. appreciate it.

Actually I secretely agreed with you about the nice comments, I just thought it was a little hypocritical considering you haven't talked about any of the songs others have posted. I think we should start offering a little more criticism on this thread, as long as nobody is going to get pissed off and upset and as long as the criticism is constructive. And on that note... My comment about Chris' songs being boring was unfair and pretty dumb. When I'm not at work I'll take a proper look at them and tell you why exactly I didn't like certain bits.

surething, champ. bytheway, iwouldnt exactly call my not sharing opinions on others lyrics here "hypocritical". it would be hypocritical if ihad been one of the many who hav given their sugar-coated reviews of everything that has been posted here. maybe gutless, if you want to be cynical. truthfully, ihavnt taken much time in analyzing any of the songs/lyrics posted here and therefore felt it only fair to not offer an opinion until such time as ido- which may be never, whoknows.