This is my second one to post here. Please compre it to the other one and be critical. Thanks



VERSE
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When we finally decide
To take to the streets
Take over the world
Take what you want to keep
Politics (Nope no more)
Like that angry boy
Like the children that we'll become
Like the building's we'll destroy
Eventually we'll block out the sun
Fly me an airplane
Drop me a bomb
Give me all the right reasons
To be wrong

CHORUS
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I'm ready so let me out
I promise I'll be good
I won't try to rebel (Take over)
I'm ready so let me in
Back into the world
I tried to change

VERSE
-------
Like that angry boy
Like the children that we'll become
Like the building's we'll destroy
Eventually we'll block out the sun
Fly me an airplane
Drop me a bomb
Give me all the right reasons
To be wrong

CHORUS X 2
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I think the verses are pretty nice, they remind me a lot of Radiohead lyrics. I love the line 'Fly me an Aeroplane, Drop me a Bomb,'. I'm afraid I don't think much to the chorus, it's rather simple. Overall the song is good though.
I'm going to start a thread where anyone can put their song ideas up for criticism, I think as long as no one gets too vicious then it would be nice to see what people are writing and what people think of each others stuff.

Of course lyrics are only good for criticism once put with music.

I don't think that is entirely true, I write a lot of my lyrics without any particular tune or rhythm in mind. I then fit it to whatever music written by one of our guitarists, we just play around and see what fits. I quite often find that my original lyrics change a little with the influence of the music, it's basically an organic process though.
Another point to consider is that songs are closely related to poetry and poems do not need a melody, the beauty of the language is enough.

I think Loz's idea is good

Lyrics and poetry are two different things. You can closely tight them together, but still one of them will be stronger. It's possible to put music into a real poetry, like Bob Dylan or Leonard Cohen, for exemple, just to stay among the English-speakers that you would know. I'm Brazilian, I could say a dozen Brazilian poets that write songs.
Anyway, it's not a matter of quality. There are really good lyrics that are just lyrics. Maybe will you understand the difference I make with this exemple: John Lennon is a poet, Paul McCartney is a lyricist, and both of them are fantastic song-writters.

yep loz has it right !