Initial reports have confirmed what some researchers have believed to be true all along... the mysterious and hyper-powerful figure known as RICARDO NIXONO hath commenced beach tanning and there may indeed be no way to halt his uncouth reign of outsized terror. Signs of beach tannedness may include, but are not limited to:

a. Uncontrollable Zombie Harmonizing (commonly referred to as the "UZH")

b. dancing in a hideously moronic fashion akin to how an arthritic version of MC Hammer's grandfather's pet orangutan would dance after being forced to listen to a single individual mariachi music-song for approximately 13.4 straight 24 hour days in total pitch-blackness while gargling Everclear and attempting to read copies of the Birmingham News without his glasses

c. having unpaleatized skin, symbolic of the final and generally critical stages of chronic, deteriorating beachtannedness.

Thou hast been warned

http://myspace.com/ricardonixono