Satchmo is not big on rules? So you're not big on games, either?

Rules or no rules, Gringo Ranchero is NEXT!

Manowar - Into glory ride (1982)



Speaks for itself. No, no self irony here. These guys have never heard of Spinal Tap. At least they will deny any knowledge about it. They DO seem to have seen the Conan movies though, which came out around the same time. This cover is topped only by the accompanying video, Gloves of Metal. Has to be seen to be believed.
As for the music itself, the album is full of the typical Manowar anthems, however being an earlier (their second) Manowar album it's actually rather rocky. And bad.


NEXT!

i can just imagine the photographer taking that shot...

'alright guys... uh... look tough'



the purple glove really kills the mood and the dude in the brown looks like some freaked out dwarf with no legs because of the smoke.

Pretty much any Manowar cover could be picked. They're also big on Homoerotica....not that there is anything wrong with that....they might be Homosexual for all I know.

Manowar are pure metal, nothing more, nothing less.

All Manowar covers are kinda tacky. The only not-quite-as-bad cover of theirs is Sign Of The Hammer which looks like some pseudo native American logo. From 1987 (Fighting The World) onwards artwork duties have been the assignment of Ken Kelly, who also designed the album covers for Kiss' Love Gun and Destroyer in the 70s.
As for being homosexual, well, they often make references to their 'pleasure slaves'. They're regularly reproached with sexism by some, and with homosexuality by others. Their loyal fans (there's alot of those in Germany) find them extremely masculine, in contrast to bands like Poison or Mötley Crüe. Whatever.

Who's next?!

Now that we've honored Manowar it's time for some glam:

Cinderella - Night Songs (1986)



Cinderella's debut.
Like the Dokken album in my opening post, bad bad posing. It's just bad. It's supposed to look spontanious, or at least not too staged. Oh well. However I like the purple/pink logo and lighting. And although the outfits aren't very inspired either, I like Jeff LaBar's (guy on the far left) zebra pants and red cowboy boots. Fred Coury's (guy on the far right) snakeskin pants are cool, too. Otherwise there's WAY too much black.
The music is pretty cool IMO. Just like Kix, Cinderella are quite AC/DC-heavy. Musically no real connection between the cover and the title, except that the freaks come out at night. But we knew that already...

NEXT!

Anal Cunt - Everyone Should Be Killed

I'm guessing that the band members suffered from a very traumatic childhood and they are just desperatly trying to reach our attention because they feel very lonely deep inside.

A very romantic band's name by the way.

next

^^ It is truly disturbing to think of the amount of shitty covers you must have looked through to get these covers.

The Manowar "Into Glory Ride" cover wins this thread imo