Reuters: The artist formerly known
as W.Axl Rose is in the process of
officially changing his name. While
Axl wants to have a connection to
the past, to a certain degree, he
would like to distance himself a
little from his infamous recent
history in the music community.
Reports have been circulating that
his new name will be R.Hubcap
Daffodil and that there are only a
few legal hurdles to get over
before it is official. With rumours
surfacing regarding the artist
formerly known as W.Axl Rose’s
mental stability Chickenfinger was
asked how he perceives the change
will influence his new boss and
collaborator and responded thusly;
“almighty 'used-to-be'
spandex-clad, mayor of Paradise
City, headband-wearing, cutting
edge, introverted, profound
side-to-side swaying, estranged
civil war survivor, vocal-meister
songwriter extrordinaire" is very
secure in who he is and the name
change is just another chapter in
his ongoing evolution as an artist.
It in no way reflects negatively on
his current state of mind. He is
writing and screeching better than
ever-there are no birds within 5
miles of his mansion and he has
even come up with a new
‘front-to-back’ swaying dance that
is as original as his old
‘side-to-side’ swaying dance from
the 80’s�

Reuters: R.Hubcap Daffodil(the
artist formerly known
as W.Axl Rose) has announced that
the new GnR drummer will be the
enigmatic Porcelain Firecracker
French Fry who has been performing
at drum clinics across America and
getting rave accolades in the
press. Known for his 'upside-down'
tom technique, quadruple bass drums
and using a 'triangle' instead of
hi-hats he is sure to have a
creative impact on the reclusive
R.Hubcap Daffodil's writing style.
When asked about his being named to
the band's roster Porcelain
Firecracker French Fry stated "I am
really looking forward to writing
some new material with almighty
'used-to-be' spandex-clad, mayor of
Paradise City, headband-wearing,
cutting edge, introverted, profound
side-to-side swaying, estranged
civil war survivor, vocal-meister
songwriter extrordinaire and the
new guitar player Chicken Finger
but up until now we have just gone
for botox injections together a
couple of times and jammed on the
xylophone". When reached for
comment about working with
Porcelain Firecracker French Fry,
R.Hubcap Daffodil was reviewing
McDonald's new Toasted Deli
Sandwiches and watching WWE
Smackdown but took the time out of
his busy schedule to say "Chinese
Democracy will be worth the wait
and I am planning on setting a
release date soon. I just couldn't
have a Chicken Finger without a
French Fry".

Well, I guess it is time that you all knew...andy was admitted into an insane
asylum and apparently all he would do was say "smorgdonkey-shut the
hell up smorgdonkey" over and over. At this point some 'internet
wizards' tracked me down via the www and contacted me regarding
their patient...at first I had no idea who their patient could be but
they said he was wearing a headband, clutching a small sign
that read "Axl is the greatest" along with a GI Joe which had long
blondish hair glued to his head and a headband with a little plastic
microphone stuck to one of the hands and he was wearing a nametag
that said "Twinkie". Armed with that information I knew that it was
andy. I also knew that it was my duty to help in any way that I
could so I ventured off to visit poor andyfenwick.


Well, when I arrived it was terrible. He could still only say
"smorgdonkey-shut the hell up smorgdonkey" and he wasn't blinking
his eyes. He also wouldn't change his clothes which consisted of a
pair of Axl-esque tight white spandex bicycle shorts (very
disturbing) and an old tattered GnR t-shirt. His 'Twinkie' name tag was
still in place and the headband was disgusting from the cold sweats
that he was breaking out into all of the time. He would only eat
cubed ham and drink Perrier water and would absolutely go Tazmanian
Devil if you mentioned Chicken Fingers or French Fries.
I knew our andy was off the deep end bad...I mean I knew it a long
time ago but I never thought that it would amount to him being
institutionalized.

Two huge orderlies would accompany
me everywhere...especially when I had to go into andy's room. One of
the first tasks that I undertook was to use a light spray bottle to
mist his eyes...the staff said that to their knowledge he hadn't
blinked since he was admitted. About a month later I began pouring
small amounts of water on his headband to try to wash some of the
funk off of it and some of the filth that was on his head. The
first time I did it he said "November Rain" and the orderlies
were so shocked!! I gradually increased the amount of water I
could pour on him and introduced a little 'No More Tears' baby
shampoo...although I did have to fabricate my own label that said
"AXL's Favorite Sudsy Soap" to get him to accept it into the room and
he'd always say "November Rain" when he felt the water on his head.
Eventually, we could turn the garden hose on him to clean him and
we had to use laundry detergent (yeah we had to change the label on
that too-we chose "Wash That Slash Right Out Of Your Braids") and
because he wouldn't remove his clothes...we just washed them while
he was wearing them.

At this point he was steadily improving. He had
stopped saying "smorgdonkey-shut the hell up smorgdonkey" and
replaced it by yelling "Take me down to Paradise City" and he also
had the "November Rain" thing going. It got pretty annoying but
it was an improvement none the less. One major breakthrough came when I
took an old Electrolux Vaccuum cleaner, put a white leather jacket
on it, adorned it with a red headband & sunglasses and put some
steel wire inside it to partially jam the motor. I took it into his
room at the institution and turn it on...man! What a screeching sound
it made!! andy just got really calm and said "Axl? I knew you'd come
Axl. Is that something from Chinese Democracy? It sounds great!! I told
them Axl! I told them!" At this point he seemed to be more aware of
things and asked who the two big guys were (the orderlies) so I told
him that they were two of Axl's road crew and andy never mentioned
them again. I could see that he wondered who I was but didn't ask
me. Then about a week later the orderlies confided in me that they
had already told him that I was a reporter who worked for Reuters. I
thought that was an acceptable story so I stuck with it but never
discussed it with him. We used the Electrolux about once a week in his
room and it really seemed to help him improve.


I had to make the decision to leave andy in the care of the institution
after making significant progress with him. I have since been able to
return to my normal life in Canada and I often get updates on andy's
condition. The last one was Wednesday July 6 and the 'road
crew'*wink-wink* told me that andy is able to speak in small phrases
now although most of the time he won't discuss anything other than
Axl (I said "he's back to normal again then" but alas it isn't so).
The 'Axl vaccuum' broke down and while they are waiting for parts
they just put it in the room with andy and andy hugs it like a baby
chimp hugs its mother. They say that he hasn't really taken any
backwards steps but due to the fact that they can't get the screeching
sound from the vaccuum that andy is often heard quietly saying while
holding himself tightly to the Electrolux "Why don't you sing Axl?
Show them all. Make them believers Axl. I'm a believer. Why do you
remain quiet?" Parts should be about another two
weeks and andy will be on the 'fast track' to recovery again.

Classics will be classics!

EDIT: BTW Chickenfinger is out and Smackdown sucks.

So, now Robin Finck has left and rejoined NIN and will be touring with NIN.

Is anyone left from Axl's original backup band?


If things hold to form....this means back to recording again and whomever replaces him will now re-record all Finck's parts.


2020, BABY!

Aw man, no Dr. Pepper for us...

From the China just might be going Democratic this year dept.

http://uk.reuters.com/article/chinaN...44356220080714


WTF? is the backing band for Axl's solo recording at this point?

From what I've heard so far, I'm not too anxious for this to come out.

That's a given.

From the enter stage left dept....


http://tinyurl.com/5tzvyq