holy overkill. don't take this the wrong way but this is like hunting mosquitos with a shotgun.
i've been playing for over 10 years now and i've NEVER needed that much technology (and i was a
HUGE red hot chili peppers fan). but i also remember what it was like to be starting out and wanting all the same gear my heroes used.
in all honesty i'd recommend returning that unit, it's WAY more than just a distortion effect, and just get a few stompboxes instead. for the amount of money one of those big units sells for you could get a simple distortion pedal, a flanger, a wah, a bag of short lead cords, a bunch of rechargeable 9 volt batteries and some earplugs for yourself and your husband. and the stompboxes are fool proof, they have a few knobs and a big on/off button that's it, no special tricks, no picky powerup/down sequence, no digital settings to get overwritten.
if you want to stick with BOSS gear their best distortion pedal is probably the 'metal zone'
http://www.bosscorp.co.jp/products/en/MT-2/specs.html
don't let the name fool you though, you can totally dial in any type of distortion you desire. it's at the pricey end of distortion pedals at about $80 but my roommate has one and it's fantastic.