Forced Exposure is slow as molasses, which is why I hardly use them. It has to be something, which I can't get from anywhere else, which is rare.

Ok, I in some city for business, and I decided to go make one of my pits stops, at one of my favorite record stores. As with my usual effect in several genres section's, the aisles part like the Red Sea. (Don't even get me started on this )

I am in the experimental section, and there is a buyer and a store employee already there. They are discussing Jandek. I won't even get into what I think about Jandek being in this section. (That's an entirely different post.)

I am minding my own business, cleaning out yet another section and I hear this conversation:

Buyer (who appears to be 15 or 16) - Dude, I've heard a lot of things about Jandek!! What's he like?

Store Clerk - He's really great man. Has this really spoooooky voice and he plays his own instruments. He plays the guitar like Robert Johnson.


Ok, now I am under the table looking at the stuff underneath, and I actually stop what I was doing to make sure I actually heard what I heard. The phrase WTF did he just say, did pass through my mind a few times.

Poor Snook of a Buyer - Robert Johnson? No shit?

Deaf and Clueless Clerk - Yea, dude and he has this Howlin Wolf kind of thing goin' on, with his voice. WTF??????????? followed by a loud cracking sound as my head hits the bottom of the table. Damn tables are made for the vertically challanged as it is, without having to look under them. At least in my head it sounded louder than the music being played in the place, which was Bob Marley. Yes, a store with a clue. YO!


So, now after making sure I didn't crack open my skull, when I jerked up and hit the bottom of the rack of cds. Thankfully, I find out once again that the manufacturer provided an super extra sturdy cranium. It has come in handy, a great many times. YO!

I straighten up to my full Satchmoness, and look down on these two vertically challenged "musical scholars". I proceed to have a discussion with said deaf one. As this is going on the once parted Red Sea of this section, has now started to collapse back. I actually hear said deaf one call me, old timer and to fuck off!! That the Tony Bennet is over in the "Easy Listening" section.

Keep in mind, I am maybe 10 years older than the deaf one appears to be and he is a store employee.

The Satchmo entourage has obviously heard skull cracking noise and seen the mass of people, because I see them heading my way, as if they expect chaos to ensue. I see Young Middle Lady Satchmo on the phone, and I am thinking she/they are either calling Lady Satchmo or the bail bondsmen, lawyers and more of the entourage.

Said vertically challanged now start backing up. As if I am going to put anyone in the hospital or buy them a house as well as make the network news over Jandek. (I am not even going there, so don't ask).



To be continued at a later date when I am bored, and in the sharing mood.

I have never had a fight over obscure music. But I probably would out of curiosity...

Satchmo > < Store clerk

To recap for those that don’t want to read all of that last post; the vertically challenged musical scholars are backing up, Satchmo entourage is making their way over as fast as possible, without shooting or putting anyone in the hospital. Younger daughter and others are calling I have no idea who. I am pretty sure; they’re not calling in an order for pizza. Oh yea, once again the Satchmo cranium proves it can take a beating and keep on ticking.


(Does Timex still use that line, and is Timex even around anymore? No, that wasn’t passing through my head at that point. This is just one of several things currently zooming through the Satchmo neurons, which have no bearing on the subject at hand.)


I also at that point, wouldn’t have minded a bottle of Tylenol or a barrel of Single Malt.




Part Deux



So, now store security and the owner (who know Satchmo, horde and entourage well) of place are making their way over. I might as well mention this was not in the U.S. I should also mention, that most of the people that either work in this place or go there, would make Rocky Horror Picture’s cast look like, Ultra Conservative Right Wing Republicans on the way to Sunday Mass.

I have always wanted to ask the owner if an employee had to have at least 10 tattoos, piercing, and their hair a color that is not part of the spectrum. I am not sure if some of those colors even have names. The "conservative" employees only have one hair color throughout. Yes, I know this doesn’t have anything to do with the subject at hand either. I blame the Satchmo neurons.

Of course, Satchmo rocking the boat as usual is in his suit and tie. One of several reasons the aisles open like the Red Sea. The non-vertically challenged and styling Satchmo (GQ and other similar mags have nothing on Satchmo when he actually bothers to style ) sticks out, like I am sure you can imagine. This is of course, just Satchmo proving his point in his own unique Satchmo way, to said people. I am not sure if Satchmo styling has any bearing on this subject, but what the hell.




Damn, I might need to recap the recap in the next post in the, Jandek Edition of The Further Adventures of Satchmo. I am not even sure any of this is of interest, or if there is any real point. Well outside of Jandek, Robert Johnson and Howlin' Wolf don't belong in the same sentence. Ok, maybe in that sentence , but not one comparing Jandek in anyway to the other two.


Right about now that Single Malt is sounding good. I tell you, it's those neurons.

You must be taking all this from some Lars von Trier movie I haven't seen yet. I'm thinking hand-held cameras and a lot of improvised acting.

von Trier could learn a lot from following Satchmo around. I am thinking, more along the lines of Scorsese for this shoot.

It's funny how the people who actually "Destroy Music As We Know It" and turn everything into chaos (as in having people BLOODY EACH OTHER'S HEADS IN THE CONCERT HALL) are these little guys with nice haircuts and some sort of suit/tie combo (Schoenberg, Cage...etc.).

Yes, the first mosh-pit was provoked by the Second Viennese Schule.

Okay, let me guess based on the employee's appearances...you're not in East Berlin!

I am thinking, of one long continous shot as per Welles' Touch of Evil for the opening. YO!


I am also thinking, Coltrane (not sure which song at this point) for the opening shot, before we segue to the Bob Marley.

They were just mad because you knew who Jandek was, utterly (moo!) destroying their childish worldview. They probably had to spend the rest of the night listening to some worthlessly obscure Nirvana recordings in order to recover from that blow.


I think you should edit in a coffee-spit-take instead of the skull cracking thing. Hey, I'm just trying to park bums in theatre seats.

Several of the Satchmo horde claim, that I am being too tough on Jandek and it's not his fault what happened at said store.

Looking back through the Satchmo ramblings in the Jandek Edition of The Further Adventures of Satchmo, I don't see my blaming poor Jandek.

I give you some lyrics by that poet Jandek, which would make Dylan envious.


From:

Staring at the Cellophane

Michael

Michael, Michael
Where are you now?
[repeat]



I See Lights

I see red lights
I see green lights


Your Turn to Fall


Elementary Talk

That’s elementary talk
The way you were before
That’s elementary talk
That’s elementary talk
The way you were before
That’s elementary talk